Chuck?

posted by Ginger on Aug 4

Who says Southern California was due for an earthquake? Scientists, earthquake engineers…or those employed by the establishment to cover up the truth about what really moves the earth? One theory brought to the Team’s attention is that the recent earthquake in Southern California was the direct result of Chuck Norris anger. Or maybe he just hadn’t eaten his Activia in a few days.

Here’s the theory as submitted by one of our new recruits:

Chuck Norris is not a happy camper. Last Tuesday an earthquake hit Southern California at a measure of 5.4 on the Richter scale. Objects fell and buildings swayed as the wrath of Chuck Norris was released in earth-shattering form. With nunchakus in hand and a scowl on his face, Chuck immediately went to work once he heard the news—that Gameloft was taking advantage of poor souls in an attempt to gain cell phone fame and earn a few bucks at the same time, an action that trivializes Norris’ personal vendetta for Global Righteousness and Fitness. And so the Great One didn’t stand for it when he brought the pain to Californians…

Wait, hold up. Ginger here with a disclaimer: While we LOVE the enthusiasm of our young recruits, the above is not the official Team interpretation of the earthquake. We are still evaluating the evidence we have. Perhaps it was just a sign. Perhaps Chuck Norris was signaling to the world to watch out, watch out for The Mission. Because we represent what is truly good in this world. And besides, the earthquake wasn’t even that big anyways. Not to Chuck Norris.