Chuck?

posted by Ginger on Sep 12

No doubt you’ve seen the video of Chuck Norris boldly and rudely arguing with Arianna Huffington. Chuck interrupts, says weird things, laughs at her, blinds the viewing audience with his pearly white teeth and just generally makes a fool of himself. Ha, you say, this is your hero? This is the man who supposedly uses the jaws of life to pluck his brows?

The only thing is, that wasn’t Chuck Norris. It was the Obama Chuckbot. You know, like a fembot, but in the likeness of Chuck Norris.

Evidence indicates that Barack Obama and Oprah Winfrey conceived the Chuckbot as a countermeasure to McCain’s astute appointment of Sarah Palin as his running mate. Given the effect Palin has had on the campaign, Obama knew he had to take quick and decisive action. Here’s what we know:

• A witness recently spotted Obama doodling “Chuck Norris” in bubbly, cursive writing on a notepad.
• Joe Biden was overheard telling Obama that it was crucial to get Chuck Norris on their side. It is believed, but not confirmed, that Obama began to cry when he Norris’ name was mentioned.
• Obama had a closed door meeting with Oprah Winfrey; evidence strongly suggests that the pair conceived of the bot idea and funded its development. You could almost say the bot is a love-child of sorts. Almost.
• The bot was sent on a mission to make a fool of itself by picking a childish fight with Arianna Huffington, thus bringing humiliation upon the McCain/Palin campaign.
• Obama was heard laughing maniacally as the Huffington/Norris altercation aired on Larry King Live
• The YouTube Video of Norris and Huffington has received 4,969 views; 4,962 of those were Obama (Oprah hasn’t seen it, because she only watches videos featuring Oprah Winfrey.)

You heard it first here.