Welcome to the Official Aren'tYouChuckNorris.com. Our Mission is simple: To prove the Theory of Chuck Norris. Are you ready to join the Mission?

It was a recurring dream that brought us together...

...in the dream, the ground is rocking, the drinks are flowing and the slot machines are jangling. Faceless gamblers pull handles methodically, without emotion. We stand in a corner, motionless. A tall silhouette appears in the distance. A scent fills the room, an intoxicating combination of musk, leather and gun smoke. The man holds a pistol in each hand. A menacing shadow stretches out behind him.

He begins to walk through the casino. As he nears, the women faint, the men cry uncontrollably and the slot machines dump coins all over the floor. Just as his face is about to become visible beneath the brim of his hat, the dream is over.

Blondie, Blackjack, Bookish, Dakota, Ginger, The Hammer and Deadwyler. We are the initiators of the Mission. We are The Team.

Blondie's wicked wit gets her whatever she wants. Usually what she wants is a Ketel One martini, dirty. Blackjack is a walking encyclopedia of knowledge. Fiercely competitive, yet remarkably good-natured, Blackjack prefers Grey Goose. Bookish is a clever redneck who has managed to infiltrate academia; she's known to postulate on her fondness for American muscle cars while casually sipping cheap red wine from a fishbowl-sized glass.

Dakota is a master of disguise who can fit in to any situation, with any crowd. She always preps herself with a vodka tonic, saving the lime to chase a shot of Patron Silver. Ginger has turned a split personality disorder into the deadliest of weapons, confusing and deceiving both friends and enemies. She drinks Mai Tais with her left hand and vodka soda with her right. The Hammer is a rum and coke man who can overcome any objection, anytime. Deadwyler, complex Deadwyler, walks the line of love and hate with Lady Luck. He takes the edge off with a gin and tonic.

But then we've also been called an underground cult of Chuck Norris stalkers, just because we believe in an omniscient and super human Chuck Norris who periodically morphs himself into celebrity personalities. Whatever.